Only 9 days to go until our first IVF appointment. I am so eager to get in there and find out what we have to do. I have read a zillion blogs and websites and googled just about everything combination of “IVF, MFI, ICSI” etc etc that I feel I have a general idea of what it will entail. I just can’t wait to hear our specifics, exactly how it will go, and when when WHEN!
I feel so many different emotions regarding the whole situation, and they all run through my mind every day. Excitement, worry, fear, anger, happiness. I wish we were as lucky as all the pregnant people I see in my every day life, absent-mindedly rubbing their bellies in my face. I wonder if there will ever come a day when I see a pregnant woman and don’t feel bitter. I will say, particularly for my good friends, I am happy for them. But the sheer NUMBER of pregnant women I now see on a daily basis is mentally exhausting. Hopefully this IVF thing will just work, and maybe then, when I’m finally one of them, I will let those feelings go. I don’t know though. They might just always be there.