My bleeding from last night subsided this morning, and I had almost no spotting until about noon. That’s unheard of in the last week. It was nice while it lasted.
I expected my beta results by 1:30 at the latest, as I told them I had a patient at that time and wouldn’t be able to answer the phone. I was shaking like a leaf and about to puke from about 12:45 until 1:25, when I finally got the call.
The nurse said that despite everything I’ve been reporting, my beta was 549, which is totally fine. I asked her what would be considered normal for this time, and she said based on beta #1 at 155, as long as I was between 550-600, I was okay. Close enough.
I couldn’t believe it. I want to believe that things are going well, but it’s so hard when the bleeding and spotting just won’t quit. Do you guys have any idea how many times a day I go to the bathroom just to examine my undies? A BAJILLION. In fact, about an hour after the good news, I put a new Endometrin in and had tons of mucousy dark red blood on the applicator, which has NEVER happened. So gross, I know. I’m sorry. But, so much for a sense of relief!
My husband keeps telling me I need to try to let go a little bit. Listen to the test results and accept that it appears to be headed in the right direction. I’m going to try. I’m going to try to accept that my body is doing things that seem scary, and maybe it’s not totally a bad thing. Maybe I’m just going to be one of those people who manage to bleed on and off for 9 whole months and end up fine in the end.
I really hope that’s not the case, but if that’s the only ‘road to our baby’, I’ll have to suck it up.