Hello everyone.

I feel like I’ve been absent lately.

My sweet little grandma died over the weekend so I just got back from a trip home for the wake and funeral.  It was bittersweet to see all my family under those circumstances.  And I’m sad that my grandma will never meet her first great grandchild.  But I’m happy that she’s no longer in pain.  She had a rough last 2-3 weeks, and she was truly suffering.

I didn’t spill the beans to my family yet.  My BF and MIL kept pressing me about that issue.  I almost wish I could have because my out of town relatives were in town, and I’d love to be able to tell them face to face, but I really want to wait for the 12 week nuchal sono.  Plus I didn’t want to be flashing my sonogram pictures while people are in mourning, but I know they all would have been thrilled despite the situation.

Things are still going well with the baby, I think/hope!  Last Friday I had another ultrasound at 8 weeks 3 days at my OB’s office.  It was awesome.  The equipment was super duper fancy compared to my RE’s office, and I got to watch the image on a huge flat screen TV on the wall in front of me.  The baby’s heart rate was 168 and it was measuring at about 1.2 cm, so a little behind, but she didn’t seem concerned.

The purpose of the scan was to check my sub-chorionic bleed, so the tech really took her time, and took so many pictures, I’m pretty sure I was on the table for a good 30 minutes.  The bleed has gotten a little larger since the last scan at my RE’s office (3 cm long and about .5 cm wide), but when the doctor saw it, she said we will just wait and see it at 12 weeks, and hope that it will down in size, as most do. It seems to outline the lower right side of my uterus, closer towards the cervix.  I haven’t had any bleeding since that last bad gush over 2 weeks ago, so that’s good.  I hope that the placenta is forming on the side that’s away from the bleed.  I just wish the damn thing wasn’t there.  Go away bleed.

In similar news, I continue to be neurotic about everything.  Earlier in the week a co-worker walked up behind me and poked me in the sides and screamed, and it of course scared the living shit out of me.  I made the most bizarre sound, like I was choking. I wanted to kill the kid.  It felt like all my inner organs contracted.  All I could think was, omg is the baby okay?  Did that hurt the baby somehow?  I texted my husband that I must have a “Please fuck with me” sign taped to my back.  Just as I get over one paranoid fear (Margarita-gate) it’s right on to the next.

My symptoms have been pretty consistent.  I still have sore boobs (nips in particular), mild queasiness throughout the day that can only be cured with food, and intermittent fatigue.  Let’s not talk about how none of my pants fit and I’ve gained 6 lbs. Hehe.  I have definitely been indulging in general, but the snacking to get rid of the nausea is probably not helping either.  I hope that as that symptom fades as I move into the second tri, I can reign it in a little with the munching.  Oh well.  I shouldn’t complain.  The food choices I make are my own fault, but I just NEED to eat carbs and bad food.  I’ve eaten McDonalds twice in the last 2 weeks.  I just polished off my leftover spaghetti parm from this great italian dive in my neighborhood.  You get the idea.

Tonight should be interesting at my book club meeting.  This is the second one in a row where I’ll be abstaining from booze. At the last once my then pregnant best friend was abstaining, but tonight even she will be drinking (and I get to play with her almost 1 month old babe!)  I hope no one pries as to why I’m not.  They all know about the IVF, so I think they won’t push the issue, but I just don’t want to spill the beans to them yet.

I can’t wait for my nuchal sono.  After coming from an RE it seems like weekly scans should be mandatory.  I just want to see the baby and know it’s heart is beating, every single day.

November 7th can’t get here soon enough.


31 thoughts on “9w3d

  1. So sorry for your loss, lovely. 😦

    And oh sweet baby Jesus I’m not even pregnant and I freaking hate it when people try to be cute by scaring you.. Takes me a good 5 seconds to realize it’s not actually the boogie man.

    • Haha speaking of sweet baby Jesus, I love your pic.

      Ugh isn’t it the worst? Like why would you do that? It would never even occur to me to do that to someone, especially a casual work acquaintance.

  2. really sorry about your grandma. I hear you completely on the munching-all-the-time. mostly I’ve been able to limit myself to things like excessive amounts of hummus but I’m literally a weird combination of starving and completely grossed out by food all the time. Literally, my tummy is rumbling as I write this…

    • Exactly. I’m currently grossed out and staaarving. And I can’t be bothered to cook. I want delicious, already prepared foods. Even going to the grocery store is nauseating (all those smells! ugh), so I avoid it.
      Currently waiting for my dear husband who’s bringing me chicken souvlaki takeout. Haha.

  3. I too am eating constantly! I try to pick healthy things but damnit, sometimes I want sour cream and onion potato chips and Chick fil a! (now I’m drooling a little). Counting down the days with you!
    Also. I am so sorry about your grandmother. 😦

  4. Omgosh! I’m away for a month and here you are, all preggers n stuff! YAAAAY!!! I’m glad the IVF worked for you!! So sorry to near about granny… :(. I’m glad you didn’t spread your good news at the funeral, the fam would’ve been ecstatic but not good timing. Good choice on your part. Congrats, mamma! Woohoo!

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. Mine just died also and we had the funeral on Saturday. Lots of emotions, but so thankful for the memories. Good luck at your next appointment, I’m sure everything will be just great!

  6. I’m so, so sorry to hear about your grandma. But I do believe she already knows about her great-grandbaby from “the other side,” just like I believe my mom knows about her grandbaby growing in me. My mom has been gone 7 years – and I know not everyone believes this – but I think she does know how my life is going and that she is going to be a grandma.

    I will be 7 weeks this Sunday and my grandma’s 90th birthday party will be Saturday. I know it’s early to tell people, but if our u/s goes well this Thursday, I will be sharing our news with my extended family this weekend. I wish I could wait longer like you are, but I haven’t seen some of these people in six years so I really want to tell them in person.

    • That’s really a lovely thought, and I’m sure it’s true. They must be overjoyed for us. 🙂

      I say go for it! I really would have told my family at 9 weeks if it weren’t for the fact that it was under those sad circumstances, and because I just want to make sure everything is going OK with my stupid bleed area. I want to get one more check to see that it’s resolving so I feel safe.

      Have fun spreading the news! I’m sure everyone will be thrilled!

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