Amazed by #1, and considerations for IVF # 2

Anybody out there?

This might be more like a private journal entry, but if anyone is still reading, *please feel to comment!

Our little girl’s 1st birthday is fast approaching (5/23), and we just can’t believe our eyes.  She’s at the stage where she is a knowledge sponge, you can just see it in everything she does.  Everything we say and do she is absorbing and understanding, mimicking.  Any word we have her practice she sits and thinks about, processes, and then incredibly will produce the first consonant, or the right vowel sound.  She can identify (point to) so many household objects. It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.

She’s been on the move for sometime now.  She started taking steps at 10 months, and now she is a real walker, and a fast one at that.  Everything in our house, even things I wouldn’t even consider, are suddenly a dangerous weapon that she can pull onto herself, or fall on, or slam her fingers with.  I’m realizing we really should try to “child-proof” the place.  Starting with all the stairs…..Yikes. 

A lot of people who I was pregnant with in real life, or overlapped with somehow are already starting to try, or are pregnant, and that is something I’m not ready for. (Although, lucky them, they just have to have sex, don’t have to pay 10k and stab themselves with dozens of needles.  I digress…)   I have this sweet and bright child, but (duh!) parenting her is the single-hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  I have a tendency to be a little ADD, easily tuning out my husband without even realizing it, easily becoming distracted, and so having to have laser-like focus on this VERY fast, almost-toddler is not easy. 

Because of this difficulty, getting out of the house with her is a new venture, I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit.  I work MWF, so on Tuesdays and Thursdays we pretty much stay home.  I do housework, and chase her and the dog around.  Maybe I’m scared, or I don’t give her or myself enough credit, but we don’t get out much without the help of Daddy.  Now that she’s mobile and the weather is finally warming up that is changing.  We started a Music Together class this month.  The 1st class was hysterical, and made me realize that I had in fact been correct: I have a very busy, very strong-willed child, when compared to her peers.  She was the ONLY baby in the class who never stopped walking around the room (ever), approaching all the other toddlers and younger babies, trying to pull the Ipod off the table, climbing on to the instructors lap, dampening her guitar playing by grabbing the neck and strings.  Nope, all the other kids sat on their mommy’s laps, did what they were supposed to do, while mine put on a show.  My best friend and her very calm, late-walking 18 month old daughter were witness to it, and it made me happy she could finally see what I’m up against.  My 11 month old, established walker, coming in at a whopping 27+ lbs, is just stronger, heavier, and much more active than most.  I’m incredibly lucky I know, but DAMN I’ve got my hands full with this one. 

Which brings me to my big question. How many kids do we want?  How many could I really handle, and feel like I’m doing a decent job?  When we do decide to pursue another round of IVF, should we transfer 2 embryos again?  I’ve been saying since the beginning that I really only want 2 kids total.  Now that I have this one, I KNOW this to be true: 2 is all I need and feel I could handle. Maybe there is a slight, remote chance I could change my mind in the future, but that’s where I’m at right now. (My husband is another story- he will want to try until he gets his boy.)  Besides that, obviously financially 2 would be easier, and we only have a 3-bedroom home which we just moved into.  I don’t want to outgrow it yet.  This could be our forever home, but that’s only if we have 2 children. 

I still need to do my research on eSET vs. 2 embryo transfer.  Approximately 30% of IVF pregnancies result in multiples.  Granted, our 1st IVF only yielded a couple decent embryos, and only 1 implanted to give us our daughter.  My husband likes those odds. In fact, when I brought up eSET to him he straight up said no, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea.  But I’m starting to get a little nervous.  I don’t even plan to do another round of IVF until possibly next summer, when the baby will be 2.  Maybe she will be much easier by then (ha!), and the notion of multiples won’t be as daunting.  I’m sure we will consult with our doctors again to discuss our options before we start the process, so hopefully that will give us some clarity, and better information. 

I’m just curious what any of you think or know about elective single embryo transfer, if you have done it yourself, etc. I’ve read that it’s gaining a lot of popularity; in fact one article I read said it’s commonplace in Canada.  I don’t want to hurt our chances of success, however. Thoughts? Has anyone done eSET?  Know anyone who has?  I’d appreciate some input. 

And happy almost 1st birthday to our perfectly busy baby, C.  We love you so much. 



5 thoughts on “Amazed by #1, and considerations for IVF # 2

  1. Hi there 🙂 It’s an interesting question you have…. We had two good embrios at the end of our IVF cycle. The doctor suggested that we transfer only one, because transferring two would not increase the chances of success, only the risks during pregnancy. This is common practice here in UK (as far as I understand and up to a certain age, maybe 40, I can’t remember anymore) and we were happy with it, so we had an embryo frozen and one transferred. My interpretation at the time was that they usually transfer two when the quality of the embryos is not very good, in which case it increases the chances, otherwise it’s not necessary. So I think it’s a decision that should be made only then, when you know what you’ve got. And best of luck!!!

    • Hi! Thanks for the info! It’s interesting to hear that your doc said 2 wouldn’t increase your chances of success. I think our RE and us had decided prior to retrieval that we would put 2 back in, but this was before we knew what we’d get. What ended up happening was we only had 4 that fertilized, then it dwindled to 2 decent embryos and they put them back in at day 2. So maybe we only had 1 good embryo as only 1 stuck, maybe the other one never would have made it that far. Who knows! Hopefully they’ll get the right dosages of stims for me next time and we will have a better retrieval- although I couldn’t be any happier with the outcome of our original cycle :). Thanks for her bday wishes!

  2. Hi there. I have just started my first round of IVF. Our FS has said that we can only have a one embryo transfer this time round (as we’re on insurance the doctor decides). This is because I am (just) under 30, and therefore have a higher chance of conceiving twins – which I actually wouldn’t mind. I’d be happy to have a DET, but we just don’t get the choice.

    Happy birthday to your little daughter.

    • That’s interesting! I guess the rules are different everywhere. In New York State where I am it’s all out of pocket. I was 28 when we did our 1st cycle and
      my doc still wanted to do 2. I would have been okay with twins at the time too, cause then we would have been done! But now with a toddler that would be a lot to handle.
      Best of luck to you!!! I’ll be sure to follow along on your journey. 🙂

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